Connect with us


Be Brave – 8 ways to better deal with fear

Being brave does not mean not being afraid, it is not allowing yourself to be dominated by fear.
Fear will only go away when you overcome yourself and act.



Be brave

Do you know that feeling nauseous in the stomach area when you want to try something unknown?

Whenever you leave the familiar and try something new, you will encounter fear.

If you want to be successful and make your dreams come true, you won’t be able if you are not ready to face your greatest fears. You will be faced with the challenge of leaving the familiar behind to let the new, much nicer, into your life.

Anxiety can be a prison. If you want to face it, one thing that is needed above all is courage. To be brave means to face your fears. You can find out how to do this best in this article.

“The secret of happiness is freedom, but the secret of freedom is courage” – Pericles (ancient Greek statesman)

You will learn:

What fear is and how it is holding you back
What it means to be brave
How to train your courage and become braver
How to deal with fear better
Why courage is rewarded

Fears in today’s world

The root of the word ” courage ” is the Latin word ” Cor “, which means ” heart “. Living bravely means living from the heart.

The heart longs for the new and self-realization, but the mind fears for its existence and wants to prevent us from doing so.

We imagine the worst horror scenarios that could go wrong.

Most likely you live somewhere in one of the safest countries in the world. You don’t have to worry about your survival.

Accordingly, most fears today – rationally speaking – are superfluous.

The strongest instinct in our being is the survival instinct. Since we have survived so far, our minds want us to stay in the familiar, because habits are a guarantee of survival.

Therefore, the mind is mostly against new things and sabotages the courage: Every time you dare something new, your body reacts with fear.

In the past, this fear had its right to exist, since the unknown could lead to death. But a lot has changed in this world in the past 10,000 years.

From an evolutionary point of view, 10,000 years is a joke.

For example, if you have never given a speech and you want to give a lecture, your body behaves similarly as if a sabre-toothed tiger were standing in front of you ready to attack.

Fear is an uncomfortable feeling, but it will only go away if you face it.

Whenever you do something new, you will encounter fear. This is not only true for you, but for all other people too.

Fear often shows us where the real treasures of our lives are hidden.

If you want to achieve your goals, you will not be able unless you deal with your fears and confront them.

“If longing is greater than fear, courage is born.” – Seneca (Roman philosopher)

What does it mean to be brave?

To be brave is not to do things that are very dangerous to your body, your life or your prosperity.

This is called “being addicted, after the adrenaline rush ” or even ” stupidity “:

  • To put all your money into a Chinese company stock
  • Climbing without protection
  • Riding a motorcycle at high speed – at night and in the rain – without a helmet and hands-free
  • Skydiving without a parachute

To be brave means doing the things we want with all our hearts. It doesn’t mean to be fearless. Despite the fear, it means doing what you know is right:

  • End an unhealthy relationship
  • To quit your job that doesn’t fulfill you
  • To move to another city
  • To travel to an unknown country

However, it doesn’t necessarily have to be big things. It’s often the little things that make us nervous:

  • To address an interesting person
  • To speak your mind and stand by it
  • To be able to say “No”
  • To give a lecture

You feel the fear, but you still act – that’s courage. Being brave does not mean not being afraid, it is not allowing yourself to be dominated by fear.

How do you get braver?

How do you learn to relax? By consciously relaxing. How do you become more disciplined?

By acting disciplined. So how do you get braver? Bingo: By acting brave!

Similar to our self-discipline, there is a kind of muscle for our courage.

Whenever you train this muscle, so by acting bravely, it gets bigger and stronger.

Whenever you face your fears, you will feel better no matter how it turns out.

You grow by facing your fears.

If you regularly confront your fears, you will build up bomb-proof confidence over time. Confidence is the certainty that you can cope with any situation.

Nevertheless, people tend to do things that are comfortable and enjoyable playing it safe.

But mostly it is exactly the things that are not fun in the short term that really move us forward in our lives.

Confronting fears is the best example of this: In the short term, it may feel uncomfortable to face your fears, but in the long run, you will become fear-free and you grow.

To give up the short-term pleasure and instead do the things that really move you forward, one thing is needed: self-discipline.

For this reason, self-discipline is the basic requirement of courage.

8 tips to better deal with fear

1. Take small steps

If you told me to give a lecture to 1,000 people in two weeks, I would be afraid. I would give this talk, but it would push me to my limits.

I regularly give lectures to 10-15 people on a safety topic at work. For me, these are no longer a major overcoming.

It is easier to increase the number of people from 10 to 20, then to 50, to 100, 200, 500, until the lecture in front of 1,000 people is more feasible.

Going straight to the extreme can overwhelm us. In the example above, this would be the direct jump from 15 to 1,000 people.

If you are afraid to approach people, you could start by asking strangers about the way or the time.

If this is no longer a problem for you, the next step would be to exchange a few sentences of small talk with the person opposite you.

This principle is also called comfort zone expansion. You face your fear continuously, but in steps that are feasible for you.

In this TEDx video, Corey Poirier Talks about how people crush fears and expand their comfort zones.

2. Do something you’re afraid of every day

Your courage muscle grows by training it. What would be better than a daily workout?

Do at least one thing every day that you’re afraid of or that is new to you. It doesn’t have to be big things like giving a speech in a busy square. Small things are enough:

  • Try a new restaurant
  • Take another route to work
  • Conduct a short small talk with a seller in a shop
  • To try a new sport
  • Instead of using Google Maps, ask someone else for directions

If you face your fear for one year, at least once a day, and do things differently, that’s 365 new things.

That means 365 times a little boost for your self-confidence.

Constantly confronting your fears brings you more than if you only confronted your fear once in a larger action.

Ideally, combine the daily small actions, regularly with larger actions, such as giving a lecture.

3. Raise awareness of the feeling of fear and do not identify with it

If the fear comes up, we don’t want to feel it and push it away. This does not lead to anything because it only makes it stronger.

It is better to perceive the emotion and allow it to be there.

However, do not identify yourself with your fear. You are not your emotion!

When the emotion train rolls on, many people jump on the train and ride with it. This means that they let emotion travel with them.

If it comes to this, the emotion then determines its action. The greater the fear, the harder it is not to get carried away.

Learn to perceive fear, but not to let it travel with you. The more you try, the better it will work. You can feel the fear, but still, decide how to proceed next.

4. Relax on a physical level

Anxiety is felt on a physical level:

  • The muscles cramp
  • Breathing becomes shallower
  • Your heart beats faster
  • The more cramped you are, the more fear will grow.

As soon as you feel fear, consciously make sure to relax your body. Breathe deeply into your stomach and relax your muscles.

This will reduce the fear, which will make it easier for you to deal with it. If the fear is weaker, you will also not easily get carried away by it (see point 3).

5. Try to look at your fear as objectively as possible

Fear is an emotion that often makes no sense at a rational level. Accordingly, your mind can help you understand that nothing can happen to you.

What are you afraid of? Imagine that you overcome your fears and act.

In the worst case, what can happen to you – realistically speaking?

Consider the negative effects on a scale of 1-10 (1 = nothing can happen; 10 = physical pain/death, loss of your complete wealth).

How much is your life-changing for the negative?

You do the same now in case it works.

What is there to win at best? On a scale of 1-10: What positive effects can it have on your life if you face your fears?

It is often the case that we have little to lose and everything to gain.

Let’s take the example that you want to approach an attractive person:

Even if he/she is not interested, there is a high probability that he/she will thank you for the interest in him/her.

In the worst case, he/she reacts annoyed and gives you a basket. Maybe a few outsiders will notice.

After 5 minutes at the latest, they forgot this again (on the scale: 3-4).

Ideally, you will get to know the partner of your dreams (on the scale: 10).

6. Visualize positive images

What pictures do you see in your head? Do you see yourself failing or do you see yourself coping with the situation ahead of you?

Especially in moments of fear, we run the most ridiculous horror scenarios together in our heads. This often happens unconsciously.

Watch yourself in moments of fear: is the film running in your head, what could go wrong?

If so, imagine how you can cope with the situation in front of you.

Have thoughts that match the results you want.

Visualization alone does not change anything in the real world. This only happens through action.

7. Get support from a good friend

When we are alone, fear can overwhelm us. A friend can help us not to be carried away by fear.

He can help you overcome yourself and is there for you afterwards. Even if things go wrong, he can quickly change your mind.

8. Be good to yourself!

As much as I wanted to, I often couldn’t bring myself to call an unpleasant customer or speak to an attractive woman.

Immediately the voice in my head started to judge me:

“You will never become anything!”
“You are such a failure!”
“You don’t even dare!”

If you face your fears, you will always find yourself in situations where you are paralyzed by fear.

The worst thing you can do afterwards is to judge yourself for it. That won’t take you a step further and pull you down even more. Would your best friend talk to you like this? No, so don’t talk to yourself like that!

You can understand the following: You and I did our best in every situation. If we could have done it better, we would have done it better.

Conclusion – being brave is rewarded

Fear was justified 10,000 years ago. In today’s world, it is usually superfluous. Once you understand that, you’ve already won half the game.

If we want to make our dreams come true, we have to face our fears. Where there is fear, there is often the way.

Anxiety can be a prison. To be brave means to feel fear and to act anyway. The fear will only go away if you overcome yourself and act.

Every time you face your fears, you free yourself a little more from this prison – no matter how it ends. This builds self-confidence.

Courage is rewarded. Maybe not immediately, but definitely in the long run. Don’t let setbacks discourage you and try again.

“Courage is based above all on the will to have it.” – Ellen Key (Swedish reformist and writer)

I hope you enjoyed the article and if you like please share it.


Building Self-confidence: Discover the 7 keys to improve it

Self-confidence is a crucial aspect of our relationship with ourselves.

However, we are all aware that numerous factors can influence our self-confidence: past negative experiences, failures, critical feedback, or longstanding “labels” that have been placed upon us. In reality, self-confidence is not a fixed trait that one either possesses or lacks; rather, it is a dynamic quality that fluctuates over time. It’s perfectly normal for everyone to experience moments of low self-confidence.



Addressing and enhancing self-confidence is becoming increasingly vital in a world where demands and expectations continue to rise. Self-confidence plays a pivotal role in achieving success and maintaining overall well-being. When self-confidence is lacking, it can lead to emotional distress and impact how we carry ourselves and how others perceive and interact with us.

Practical Steps to Building Self-Confidence

To counteract this destructive dynamic, here are foundational and practical steps to enhance your self-confidence, boost your self-esteem, and cultivate a positive self-image that works in your favor.

1. Evaluating Your Options with a clear mind.

By adopting a perspective that distances you from your own actions and viewing them as an external observer, you gain the ability to act and view them as an external observer. You can identify situations and habits where you may be self-sabotaging.

This self-analysis is a potent tool that empowers you to take control of your self-image and can lead to significant personal growth.

If you’ve struggled with low self-esteem for an extended period, Suppose you’ve struggled with low self-esteem for an extended period. In that case, you may have fallen into a cycle of anxiety and hostile self-perception that’s challenging to break without deliberate effort.

Taking a third-person viewpoint lets you see this cycle objectively, making it easier to take constructive action.

Do you know how you can do this? It’s simple. When you encounter something that triggers distress and undermines your self-confidence, pause and consider the various options available to address the situation.

Choose the option you believe will benefit you long-term and support your well-being.

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” – Eleanor Roosevelt.

The key: Challenge Yourself to Break Out of Your Comfort Zone.

To overcome the inclination to remain within your comfort bubble, it’s essential to ensure that your concept of what’s “best” for the long term isn’t solely influenced by a desire for convenience.

If you’re seeking to approach things differently, you must be willing to step outside your comfort zone.

For instance, imagine you receive a lower grade than expected on an academic paper. The easiest choice might be to do nothing, but by requesting a review of the corrections and asking for feedback on your mistakes, you’re likely to gain valuable insights even if confronting your errors feels uncomfortable.

2. Addressing Negative Habits: Taking Action for Change

This detached perspective should not only guide your choices of action but also serve as a method for identifying thoughts that undermine your self-confidence. Developing a positive self-image is not about achieving an entirely objective view of yourself (which is impossible, given the complexity of self-awareness), but rather about cultivating a self-image that serves you well.

The key difference in building a positive self-image lies in selective attention. When you lack self-regard, all the information about yourself and your actions passes through a filter that casts everything in a pessimistic light.

As a result, you may tend to focus closely on what goes wrong while overlooking your accomplishments. Since this bias persists regardless of your efforts, use it to your advantage! Recognizing and challenging unfair thoughts about yourself will help diminish their impact.

Changing your thoughts to work in your favor.

As you see the amount of unrealistic negative thoughts about yourself, you will become more aware of your ability to actively participate in building adequate levels of self-confidence, because you will realize that what you knew about yourself was skewed by your mood.

You can also turn things around by fighting back with positive thoughts and paying more attention to the things that speak well about you. This will not only change your perception of your personality, but will also make you act differently and, as a final effect, will improve your levels of self-confidence.

3. Stop always comparing yourself to the same people

You should stop comparing yourself to other people. If you can’t help but compare yourself, it’s because you probably don’t know them well enough. Nowadays social networks and the media make it very easy for specific people to offer only their best side and keep many other things under lock and key. And all this, with or without a paid image consultant.

The importance of feeling comfortable with yourself

Recognizing the importance of feeling comfortable with yourself involves reflecting on everyday behaviors, such as carefully selecting photos for virtual profiles or choosing words with precision. While you may invest time and effort into curating your online presence, it’s likely that those following your updates are even more invested in presenting you as a captivating individual.

Therefore, part of building self-confidence includes transitioning from idealizing others to humanizing them, acknowledging their imperfections and the gaps in our knowledge about them.

It’s essential to acknowledge how our thought processes can be influenced by selective attention, which is often amplified by mass media and the internet, limiting our exposure to certain information. This awareness leads us to an important realization.

4. Recognize the effects that propaganda has on your self-esteem

Self-confidence and self-esteem are closely related, and that is why you should pay attention to both if you want to intervene on your possibilities to change your attitude and emotional style. However, there are very powerful propaganda and advertising devices that are almost exclusively in charge of offering niche markets to large organizations by creating insecurities for people.

If you are a woman, for example, you may have realized that there is great media pressure to pressure women with the ideal of feminine beauty, something that ultimately does not exist. Something similar happens with practically all the elements of our life: architecture, cars, the personalities of movie heroes, etc.

Detoxify the ideals of film and television

Realizing that self-esteem, be it positive or negative, is something that can be learned and unlearned and influenced by media and cultural elements serves to see that a negative self-image does not reflect our own nature. Therefore, considering the social pressures that influence us is imperative to preserve the authenticity and not let the publicity sink us emotionally.

5. Ensuring good health can play a significant role in boosting self-confidence.

While self-confidence is subjective, making small, practical changes in your lifestyle can positively impact it. Developing habits like regular exercise, proper nutrition, and maintaining good hygiene are achievable steps that offer numerous benefits. These healthy practices not only contribute to physical well-being but also indirectly enhance self-esteem.

Remember, a men’s healthy body supports a healthy mind, fostering a positive self-image and overall well-being.

When our body works better, it is noticed by everyone (and also by oneself). There are multiple studies that link physical to mental well- being, so you shouldn’t underestimate this point.

6. Sleep well

Not only because of what has already been said in the previous point but because it is totally essential. Not sleeping properly produces fatigue and stress, which affects our way of interpreting things and, of course, also has an effect on the postures we adopt. It’s hard to trust yourself when you walk around with your head down all day.

7. Face realistic challenges and meet them

If you want to work on your self-confidence, you should focus your actions on thinking about the impact they will have on your self-esteem. Somehow, you must leave messages to your future self so that it is the one who reads itself with kinder eyes (in part, that is what the first point explains).

The art of setting ambitious but affordable goals

Therefore, you should see what goals or objectives, far from being useful, do nothing but damage your self-image by being unrealistic. If you want to make progress in this regard, focus on the objectives that you can tackle and launch yourself at them, without leaving it for the next day.

Continue Reading


What to do when you fail: Here are 6 strategies to take

You have to approach failure with a positive spirit and keep moving forward despite the falls. Because each fall brings us even closer to success.



Have you ever consider the thought if you know what to do when you fail?

Unfortunately, many people are afraid of failure. What if I told you that failure announces your success?

Even if failure is not pleasant to live at the moment, it is part of life. We all experience setbacks. It’s normal.

Before learning to walk, we all fell several times, but we all continued until we were standing on our two feet. At that age, we were not aware of the failure.

We had one goal, to walk like the “grown-ups,” so we knew it was possible. And we tried until we got there.

Are you ready to find out what to do when you fail?

Failure Means You Try

In his book, The Virtues of Failure, Josiah Bulus says, “Failure and defeat are the greatest teachers of life.” Failure is not a bad thing unless you consider it as such.

“Failure should be our teacher, not our undertaker. Failure is a delay, not defeat. It is a temporary detour, not a dead end. Failure is something we can avoid only by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing.” – Denis Waitley

Unfortunately, many people put all their energy and focus on their problems rather than looking for a solution. No wonder when they “fall” – when they fail – they have trouble getting up.

You have to approach failure with a positive spirit and keep moving forward despite the falls because each fall brings us even closer to success.

Think of the baby who learns to walk!

If you’ve experienced a failure recently or have one shortly (which is inevitable!), Here are six strategies to take.

1. Be Content

The reason you have to be happy when you fail is that you have to associate failure with success. Failure is a good thing because it means that you are doing something.

I believe that the real failure in life is not to try to do nothing.

Many people are so afraid of failing that they do nothing, they are paralyzed.

They have been disappointed many times in the past that they don’t see the point of trying again. Their goals, their dreams fly away, but they stay put, while others around them flourish.

“Do not be discouraged, it is often the last key to the keychain that opens the door”, Zig Ziglar

2. Ask Yourself Why You Failed

You have to accept responsibility for your mistakes. You are responsible for the actions you take. If you accuse others of being accountable for your failures, then you will never progress.

By accepting responsibility for your failures, you will learn not to fall into the same trap.

Whenever you fail or make a mistake, ask yourself, “Why did I fail, and what would I have done differently to have a different result?”.

First, your mind will give you all the negative reasons why you failed. However, I encourage you to change your perspective.

A bad situation may make you stronger mentally and emotionally.

From experience, I can say that all of my mistakes and failures have made me a better person because I have learned from it so that I no longer fall into the same traps.

When you adopt this mindset, all of a sudden, you will perceive failure as a step towards the life you want to have.

When you fail, hold on to the positive and then keep going.

3. Ask for Help

Don’t be afraid or ashamed to ask for help. It is difficult to succeed when playing solo. Be humble and put your ego aside.

Everyone who has succeeded has been helped at one time or another. This is one of the keys to their success.

Some people will help you avoid pain and disappointment. Don’t reinvent the wheel. Instead, learn from the mistakes of others.

It can be through a coach, consultant, mentor or therapist. Sometimes a person, an idea or any support can change our whole life.

4. Change Your Approach and Adapt

Failure means that you tried something and it didn’t work. Failure is simply a negative result. Thomas Edison experienced thousands of negative consequences before his inventions, which revolutionized the world! And he is far from alone.

Learn from your failures and change your approach until it works. Taking a new approach will allow you to improve your decision-making process. And you will end up adopting the right action plan.

“If you keep doing what you’ve always done, you will still get what you’ve always got,” John Maxwell

5. Become Stronger With Failure

In many people, failure affects their personality. Do not fall into this trap. Failure is not YOU, and YOU are not a failure. It is only a negative result of an experiment. Failure is typical, and it precedes success. So each time you fail, you will gain confidence because

1) you have taken action and
2) you have learned a life lesson.

I “encourage” you to take massive action and make as many mistakes as possible. This means that the more you fail, the faster you will become stronger and the quicker you will succeed.

6. Believe In Yourself

From experience, I tend to believe, even if it is not rational, that nothing happens by chance. Everything that happens to me, in the end, is for my good.

“Successful people have fear, successful people have doubts, and successful people have worries. They just don’t let these feelings stop them.” –T. Harv Eker

Failure is positive if you want to get stronger. If you approach each failure with this mindset, then you could dare everything and achieve maximum success in your life.

And one can even ask the question, “does failure really exist or is it simply a construction of the mind?”.

Continue Reading


How to keep your self-confidence high by renewing yourself with these 6 points

Self-confidence isn’t something you were born with. It’s something you must develop.



Photo: FreePik

Taking time out periodically to renew yourself helps you maintain the self-confidence you need for this season of intense effort.

You will come away from these experiences with a deep-rooted feeling of worth and value, apart from your current progress and status.

What is self-confidence

Self-confidence isn’t something you were born with. It’s something you must develop. Many of us were cultivated like weeds as children.

We played subordinate roles to the adults around us, who frequently reminded us of our faults and shortcomings more than the successes and abilities we have achieved.

If you had that type of childhood, you would face a unique challenge in building up your self-confidence as an adult.

Here are some essential points worth remembering to keep your confidence high and learn about yourself.

1. The most important opinion about you is the one that you hold.

Ultimately, you are responsible for your life and accountable for your actions. Therefore, nobody’s opinion about you is as important as yours.

“You have the power to heal your life, and you need to know that. We think so often that we are helpless, but we’re not. We always have the power of our minds…Claim and consciously use your power.” ― Louise L. Hay

2. The most important conversations are the ones you have with yourself.

Whether you are aware of it or not, you have a running internal conversation with yourself from the moment you wake up in the morning to the time you go to bed at night. Your thoughts and ideas are “you talking to you.”

Start getting in the habit of having conversations with yourself that are supportive and reinforcing. We know about the value of talking to people who praise us, reward us, recognize us, are happy to see us and let us know how they genuinely enjoy talking with us.

So, talk to yourself with these same qualities internally as well as audibly.

3. Develop a healthy system of internal values.

Weight what you hold to be true, good and lasting. Write down some of your values for a periodic review.

Read material that reinforces what you own to be significant in life. Discover for yourself what your beliefs are and why you believe in them.

At times, challenge yourself by having discussions or even debates with yourself. Conclude things about your life. Think about more profound issues.

Your values will significantly affect how you relate to others. The stronger your benefits are, the more significant the impact.

If you lack in internal values, you will tend to draw from and even use other people almost as a leech fastening itself to their value systems.

Instead, seek to become a server, one who can help others and give strength to others.

4. Don’t stop in your failures.

Don’t wallow in your mistakes and keep moving. Failure is not a drama. It is time to admit that not only is a failure, not a tragedy but that it can often become an actual event.

Its first asset, which is far from negligible, consists of putting us back in an attitude of humility in the face of life. It forces us to accept life as it is and not as we want or dream it.

“What sets ordinary people apart from those who are successful is the perception of failure and the way they react to it.” – John C. Maxwell

You may encounter several failures, but you must not be defeated. Remember that your difficulties and setbacks do not define you.

They just strengthen your ability to overcome them and move on.

5. Stop demanding perfection of yourself.

An A score is usually awarded to the person who scores 90 percent or better, and sometimes the score doesn’t even need to be that high.

A passing grade can be as low as 60 percent. Elections are frequently won with 51 percent, as is majority stock holding!

Give your best effort and continue to move forward. Perfection is not only unrealistic to expect and virtually impossible to achieve, but it dramatically discourages your ability to move forward.
The person who is continually looking over his or her shoulder at what might have been done better can’t possibly be focussed on his/her future.

Stay focus on what’s ahead when driving, and don’t drive by concentrating on the rearview mirror.

6. Give your best to each task.

Countless individuals say when confronted with a chore, “I m too good to be doing this.” They have contempt for their current means of subsistence, their colleagues, their current situation in life.

Don’t despise your environment, your business associates, or the tasks ahead of you. Instead, encourage them and throw your-seld into giving them your best.

People who look down on their current situation will rarely do what it takes to overcome the present and achieve a better tomorrow. They are likely to be forever stuck in the present they despise.

They are dissatisfied, restless, and unhappy. Frequently, they lose the present they have and sink even more profound. They haven’t failed at their jobs, but they have been unable at themselves.

No job is too unworthy to be done well. There are no small parts, only small actors.

7. View the big picture of life.

Set back from the landscape of your life today and take a long walk, ride a bike, or jog into the countryside.

Observe the wonder and abundance of nature, and remember that everything in your world is interconnected.

You are a part of a much bigger whole. Listen to the subtle rhythms of your environment. Acknowledge that you process cycles and rhythms of change throughout your life.

Relax and open up to the vast creative and interrelated world around you.

In developing confidence, you must ultimately see yourself as a unique creation. You must recognize, with pleasure, that nobody else is just like you.

No one else has precisely your temperament, history and associations.

Nobody else has your footprints, your fingerprints, your voiceprint, your genetic DNA code. No one else has your set of capabilities, talents, and skills correctly.

You are one of a kind.

You are Unique

Marvel at your uniqueness. You have a unique contribution to render to your family, your community and the world because you have something to give.

This world will be different because of your involvement, your actions and your responses.

Most of us sell ourselves short when it comes to personal potential.

Researchers confirm again and again that we only use a fraction of our brainpower, we accomplish only a portion of what we could achieve.

But the fact is that you have virtually unlimited potential.

The confident person ultimately realizes that the impossible is possible; it just takes a little longer.

Your value is within you; it just needs to be dusted off. Your purpose is dormant within you; it just needs to be polished.

Make in each day a time for growing in self-confidence, a critical trait as you continue to work hard and give of yourself to the tasks before you.

Work hand but also remember to work smart. Luck is proper planning carefully executed.

Live inspired and, above all, work to your best. You’ll enjoy the feeling you will have at the end of your day.

Continue Reading

business startup

Fulfilling your wishes: The 5 obstacles that stand in the way

Because fulfilling your wishes yourself is just a wonderful feeling.



Photo: FreePik

What prevents you from fulfilling your wishes? Probably one of these five obstacles. This is how you overcome the hurdles on the way to achieving your desires.

Having wishes is something significant in itself.

Because desires are a natural driver of your life.

They ensure that you grow and develop.

And they are a form of how you can express yourself.

If a wish comes true, it is one of the most beautiful things on earth. Because then you feel great happiness. At least for a short time.

But fulfilling your wishes has another side effect: it increases your self-confidence.

In psychology, one speaks of the so-called expectation of self – efficacy. Simply put: I plan something, and I implement it.

If you succeed, then you will have confidence. Because you know: “I can do something if I want it to be.”

The dark side of your desires

But having wishes, of course, has not only good sides …

Because desires can also cause considerable frustration in your life.

If you have to fight them, If you do not reach them for a long time or do not know how to fulfill them. Then you may feel like a loser.

And then your wishes are more like a whistle for you. Because they keep showing you: you’re too stupid, somehow you can’t do it.

Wishes can then be a reason for self-judgment.

They can frustrate and discourage you. They can drive you to despair and destroy your confidence.

Because you think you’re not good enough, not smart enough, whatever isn’t enough … to reach them.

Like almost everything in life, desires are a double-edged sword.

But that’s no reason to stick your head in the sand and never wish for anything again because wishes are like salt in your meal.

They inspire you and make your life special. They keep you alive.

It is, therefore, essential to deal constructively with the obstacles on the way to your wish. And first, look them directly in the face, then grab them.

What prevents you from fulfilling your wish?

We each have our reasons. Everyone felt a “big” boulder standing in the way.

Here is a selection of the most common hurdles and how you can deal with them:

1. I have no money for it / I don’t want to spend my money on it

I anticipate this reason right away because it is often used as a homicide argument.

Yes, most of us have such a wish. Such a spinning mill, which unfortunately we cannot afford. Or where we have to hit the jackpot first to make it work. So you are not alone in this.

But instead of acting like a dreamer now and moving the good life into a future that may never come, you could still use the power of your wish for yourself.

And by asking yourself:

“Is there a smaller version of my wish?”

Example: Are you dreaming of a specific sports car?
How about renting instead of owning? Or with a test drive?

Are you dreaming of a house with a garden?
How about if you just spend your next vacation in such a house?

Or start with an allotment garden?

Or you can try to satisfy the need behind your wish.

Example: Are you dreaming of a trip around the world?
Then you might associate specific ideas with such a trip. For example, you want to feel the feeling of absolute freedom. You want to let yourself go.

Then ask yourself:

How could you possibly feel these feelings without having to travel around the world?

Even if we cannot 100% fulfill all of our wishes. We can often meet the need behind the wish with smaller means. But you need some creativity. Give it a try.

2. I want to, but I don’t have time for it /I’m too caught up in my everyday life

Maybe it’s like this: “I just don’t have time. I’m trying hard, but I just can’t take a step forward. ”

Or, even worse, like this: “I have a family and zero time for myself. If I have a rest in the toilet for 5 minutes, that’s luxury.”

No time for yourself and your desires. This is, of course, a big dilemma.

There are time management trainers who claim that “no time” actually means that it has merely no priority for you.

For me, it’s a platitude because it ignores how we humans work.

I always compare this with these funny notices on the subject of “first aid” or “behaviour in the event of a fire”.

What is always at the top?

Right: “1. Keep Calm!”

And the hint is certainly meant well … But how many people can do this in an emergency? So if someone is bleeding on the floor?

A little bit of adrenaline is quite normal and human …

And it is the same with our supposedly “wrongly set” priorities.

Everyday life behaves like a black hole. It eats all your time and energy.

Most people feel that way.

Even if you set your wish as the top priority … Everyday life will take over again at some point. And you have to take active countermeasures so that this doesn’t happen.

There are two possible solutions.

Solution 1: Go small steps

If you have a full life, fighting it doesn’t help.

Lower your unrealistic demands on yourself. And try to shovel yourself 5 minutes each day for the next small step towards your wish.

Five minutes that may sound ridiculous …

But our participants from the Success Experience course are living proof that this approach of small steps works excellent.

Solution 2: look behind the dark curtain

Sometimes it is also the case that you have the time. But for some reason you can’t explain, you’d better do a thousand other things first.

And at the end of the day, you say to yourself: “I didn’t have time, I had so much to do … ”

This is a typical diversion. Something in you still resists your wish. And “no time” is just an excuse for you not to have to deal with it.

Either because your wish scares you.

Or because it’s exhausting.

Or because it requires consequences.

Whatever it is … there is still a more profound level behind the pretext “no time”.

In that case, you have to take a look behind the curtain, which is precisely what is stopping you from wanting.

The following reasons could await you behind the curtain:

3. I’m scared. Fear of failure. Afraid of making the wrong decision. Afraid to disappoint other people …

I’m afraid:

  • Afraid to leave my comfort zone.
  • Fear of change.
  • Fear of uncertainty.
  • Fear of the new.

Whatever your case may be … If your wish also brings fear at the same time, then it is perfectly logical that you prefer to put it on the back burner.

For most people, avoiding fear is the standard ‘factory setting’ with which we are equipped from birth.

But what can you do if your wish scares you? If it also includes uncomfortable distances?

Let yourself be inspired by the success of others who may have been at the same point as you.

That should give you some useful approaches to address your fears.

4. I do not know if I want this / I have doubts whether it is right for me

In your thoughts, you picture it all with your wish, all beautiful.

But the very next moment, your inner doubter comes on the scene and says:

“Yes, but is that really the case?

Does it make you happier?

Aren’t you just imagining it?

You don’t know, and you want to work so hard now? ”

Lack of clarity. Before I invest a lot of time and energy in a wish that later turns out to be an illusion, I’d rather watch a good film tonight … Who doesn’t know that?

It is a very natural behaviour. The path of least resistance.

But before you miss your own life in the TV armchair and don’t seriously pursue any of your wishes, just provide a little more clarity.

Get a very clear picture of what you really want.

Because there is nothing better than having a clear goal in mind that you are 100% convinced of and that you can work towards.

A common thread in your life, a precise meaning, that gives you infinite happiness.

But how do you get such clarity?

You gain such a form of clarity by getting to know your values ​​that make sense of your life.

All of this can help you find out if your wish is right for you.

The doubts about what you want are only one side of the coin …

5. I don’t think I can / I can’t do it

The last reason is probably the biggest hurdle for all of us: self-doubt.

If you have cleared all other obstacles and are still staying a bit longer, then you have met the ‘final boss’: your self-doubts.

Your self-doubts are exciting because they are the ultimate encounter with yourself and your deepest convictions.

Thoughts like:

  • “I don’t know if I can do it,”
  • “What if I fail?”
  • “Did I even deserve this?”

or other negative beliefs. How can you deal with it?

Of course, there is no one-size-fits-all solution for this, but rather many different approaches. Such as the following:

  • You can analyze and change your attitudes and beliefs using this 4-step method.
  • You can rewrite your negative beliefs.
  • You can change your beliefs with the help of affirmations.
  • Or you keep it with someone who needs to know. One who was excluded from his school team during school and then became the best basketball player of all time: Michael Jordan.

Michael Jordan was a hero of my youth. The man was just a machine. How he managed to achieve top performances with ease, and in such a dignified manner without being overbearing …

It almost looked like he had been sent by another star to show everyone else what a person can do with his body.

And this Michael Jordan once said:

“You have to expect things from yourself before you can do them.” – Michael Jordan

And with that, we are at the core of it all: your self-image.

Your self-image is the key to fulfilling your wishes. You have to believe in yourself. You have to think it possible that you can achieve your dream. And that you deserve it too.

And who or what can give you this belief if not yourself?

So work on your self-image. And make your wishes realistic and attainable for you.

Fulfillment of wishes summarized for you again

So how can you deal with the most significant hurdles on the way to your dreams?

  1. Try to realize your wish in the small version. Try to satisfy the need behind the wish.
  2. Trick your everyday life and proceed in small steps.
  3. Address your fears and debunk them as much as possible.
  4. Create clarity. Get a clear picture of where you want to go.
  5. Strengthen your self-image so that your wish becomes possible.

Wishes are great if you can find ways and means to fulfill them.

So see which hurdle on your path to desire most stumbles you. And then tackle this hurdle constructively.

Because fulfilling your wishes yourself is just a wonderful feeling.

Continue Reading