Building Self-confidence: Discover the 7 keys to improve it
Self- confidence is an important part of the relationship we maintain with ourselves.
But we all know that there are many factors that can affect our self-confidence: bad experiences, failures, negative criticisms or “labels” that have been with us for a long time … in fact, self-confidence is not a trait that “you have or you don’t have”, but that it is something dynamic, that fluctuates in time. We have all had moments of “little self-confidence”, it is normal that this is the case.
In a world in which more and more things are demanded of us, working on improving and building self-confidence continues to be the great pending issue. Having deficits in this regard not only causes emotional pain but also predisposes us to act like people who do not trust themselves. And that, in addition to being a source of problems, makes others treat us as if we need help with anything.
Tips for building self-confidence
Against this destructive dynamic, here are some starting points to improve your levels of self-confidence and self-esteem and make the image you have of yourself work in your favour.
1. Coldly consider your options
Distancing yourself from your own person and analyzing the things you do as if you were an external observer will help you to recognize those situations and habits in which you self-sabotage yourself.
If you have had low self-esteem for a long time, it is very likely that you have entered a vicious cycle of anxiety and bad self-image from which it is difficult to get out without trying. Therefore, taking a third-person point of view will help you see this vicious cycle in full and it will be easier to take action on the matter.
How to do this? Very easy. When you notice that there is something that creates anguish and that undermines your self-confidence, stop and think about the different options with which you can face this situation and choose the one that you think will benefit you in the medium or long term.
“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” – Eleanor Roosevelt
The key: overcome the tendency to stay in your bubble
Make sure that your conception of what is “best” in the long term is not influenced by your desire to opt for a comfortable solution. If you want to do things differently than you usually do, you will have to get out of your comfort zone.
For example, if you think that one of your academic papers has received a lower score than expected, the easiest option may be to do nothing, but if you go to the revision of the correction so that the person who has corrected it you Explain where you have failed you are likely to learn things, although facing your mistakes can be somewhat uncomfortable.
2. Do the same with your negative habits
This distanced point of view should not only act when considering your possibilities of action but also as a method to detect those thoughts that undermine your levels of self-confidence. Having a good image of yourself is not about having an objective image of yourself (that would be impossible, with the number of things you know about yourself), but about having a self-image that is useful to you.
What makes the difference when it comes to building a positive self-image is selective attention. When you do not hold yourself in very good regard, all that information about you and your actions comes to you having passed through a filter that makes you see everything in a pessimistic key.
In this way, you will have a propensity to pay close attention to the things that go wrong, while your merits will go unnoticed. Since this bias is going to be there whatever you do, take advantage of it! Detecting thoughts about yourself that are unfair and recognizing them as such will help you downplay them.
Changing your thoughts to work in your favour
As you see the amount of unrealistic negative thoughts about yourself, you will become more aware of your ability to actively participate in building adequate levels of self-confidence, because you will realize that what you knew about yourself was skewed by your mood.
You can also turn things around by fighting back with positive thoughts and paying more attention to the things that speak well about you. This will not only change your perception of your personality, but will also make you act differently and, as a final effect, will improve your levels of self-confidence.
3. Stop always comparing yourself to the same people
You should stop comparing yourself to other people. If you can’t help but compare yourself, it’s because you probably don’t know them well enough. Nowadays social networks and the media make it very easy for specific people to offer only their best side and keep many other things under lock and key. And all this, with or without a paid image consultant.
The importance of feeling comfortable with yourself
Think, for example, of the time you have spent choosing the photos to upload in your virtual profiles, or of the meticulousness with which you choose certain phrases.
That’s what a lot of people who get news about you constantly do that every day, and it is quite possible that many of them still care more than you do in making sure that all this news speaks about a fascinating personality.
Therefore, working on your self-confidence should include a phase in which you go from idealizing these people to humanizing them, that is, considering their defects or the lack of information about them.
If our own way of thinking already incorporates patterns of selective attention, the mass media and the Internet make this restricted access to a few pieces of information even more definitive. This brings us to the next point.
4. Recognize the effects that propaganda has on your self-esteem
Self-confidence and self-esteem are closely related, and that is why you should pay attention to both if you want to intervene on your possibilities to change your attitude and emotional style. However, there are very powerful propaganda and advertising devices that are almost exclusively in charge of offering niche markets to large organizations by creating insecurities for people.
If you are a woman, for example, you may have realized that there is great media pressure to pressure women with the ideal of feminine beauty, something that ultimately does not exist. Something similar happens with practically all the elements of our life: architecture, cars, the personalities of movie heroes, etc.
Detoxify the ideals of film and television
Realizing that self-esteem, be it positive or negative, is something that can be learned and unlearned and influenced by media and cultural elements serves to see that a negative self-image does not reflect our own nature. Therefore, considering the social pressures that influence us is imperative to preserve the authenticity and not let the publicity sink us emotionally.
5. Take care of your health
Although self-confidence is subjective, it is easier to make it positive if you make small objective changes in your life. Maintaining good habits of regular exercise, proper nutrition and hygiene is something easy to achieve and, in addition to providing you with benefits of all kinds, it can indirectly improve your self-esteem.
Men’s healthy in a healthy body
When our body works better, it is noticed by everyone (and also by oneself). There are multiple studies that link physical to mental well- being, so you shouldn’t underestimate this point.
6. Sleep well
Not only because of what has already been said in the previous point but because it is totally essential. Not sleeping properly produces fatigue and stress, which affects our way of interpreting things and, of course, also has an effect on the postures we adopt. It’s hard to trust yourself when you walk around with your head down all day.
7. Face realistic challenges and meet them
If you want to work on your self-confidence, you should focus your actions on thinking about the impact they will have on your self-esteem. Somehow, you must leave messages to your future self so that it is the one who reads itself with kinder eyes (in part, that is what the first point explains).
The art of setting ambitious but affordable goals
Therefore, you should see what goals or objectives, far from being useful, do nothing but damage your self-image by being unrealistic. If you want to make progress in this regard, focus on the objectives that you can tackle and launch yourself at them, without leaving it for the next day.