Failure is still painful to live with and sometimes to overcome. But failures are never an end.
Failure is only an unsuccessful attempt that offers us the opportunity to learn, both about ourselves and the situation. You can always start again.
Trying and then failing, or embarking on a project and not succeeding, at first glance, is absolutely nothing pleasant.
Initial reactions range from disappointment to discouragement to annoyance, and even anger. Until then, nothing but very reasonable and very natural.
It’s human nature. And you are human, after all!
The problem can arise if you stick to these emotions.
The real failure is to give up.
To give in to failure is to stay in a negative spiral, which only helps to cultivate a lack of self-confidence and to break any desire for a new project, a new attempt.
Conversely, you can consider your failures to be only unsuccessful attempts. You tried, and it didn’t work.
And that leaves the door open to a continuation, a new attempt, a new way of doing things.
Because you can also, and above all, learn from your failures, it is then a question of learning a lesson from it then of trying again.
The path to success is dotted with failures that show us the right way.
Doing so requires two qualities: resilience and perseverance.
In physics, resilience is the ability of a body to resist pressure and resume its original structure. In psychology, it’s a bit the same thing 🙂
Perseverance is the fact of persisting in action, a resolution or an attitude despite the difficulties encountered.
You have noticed that we are talking to you about adversity and difficulties encountered? …
In the case which interests us, adversity and difficulty is a failure.
Over time, these two qualities make the difference between those who succeed and those who fail.
Beyond your level of study and your diplomas, these two qualities will be the real guarantors of the success of your professional life and your personal life.
The real question is no longer “how to manage this failure,” but rather “how to improve my resilience and my perseverance?” ”
Because more than allowing you to manage your failures, these two qualities will allow you to succeed in the long term, to keep self-confidence and to start again.
Here is a quick guide to improving your resilience and persistence.
Want to change
I should instead write: genuinely want to change.
Yes, this first step may seem obvious. But in fact, not that much. And above all, it is essential.
Because like all work on oneself, seeking to improve one’s resilience and persistence will require time and involvement. And even perseverance 🙂
If you do not want this change, you will start, of course, but you will quickly fall back into your old habits.
Start by committing to work on your resilience and persistence.
We all have a different reaction and attitude towards failure. And these reactions and beliefs can vary according to the field, the interlocutor or the situation.
What are your reactions and attitudes? Do you get upset, shake and scream? Are you internalizing? Are you entering a negative internal dialogue?
Knowing this will allow you to put in place new, more productive reactions and attitudes to manage failure and, over time, improve your resilience and persistence.
At the start, you will keep your habits. Over time, you will only be aware of your reactions.
Then, very slowly, you will make them follow by new responses and attitudes. And finally, they will become your new habits, and they will replace the old ones.
Choose a new reaction
Now that you know your usual reactions and attitudes decide what you are going to replace them with.
Rather than getting upset and giving free rein to this nervousness, you can decide to stay calm.
Rather than leaving in a negative internal dialogue, you can choose to see the positive of the situation.
You should do all of this 🙂
But you have to decide, as I said in the first step, and choose your new attitude.
What helps to step back is to take the time to take a few deep breaths. It breaks the rhythm and calms negative emotions. Then you can take inspiration from these few recommendations.
Read some inspirational quotes
The quotes and mantras are extraordinary. In a few words, they remind you of the right path and the right attitude, as well as your deepest intentions and inspirations. As much as sound advice, they will crop you.
Do not hesitate to make your collection of quotes. The ones that inspire and motivate you the most. And review them regularly and after each failure or disappointment.
I offer some of them here …
Don’t forget to celebrate your successes, as small and small as they are!
Thinking about the next step is essential. But focusing only on the next step is tiring and exhausting.
After each necessary step, after each success, do not hesitate to congratulate yourself.
Are you still so discouraged, but you don’t get upset anymore? How many negative thoughts and energy saved! It is a remarkable success.
So do not hesitate to congratulate yourself before taking the next step.
See the positive side
Following a failure, in addition to disappointment or discouragement, the usual reaction is to see the negative aspects of the situation.
To see only the negative aspects of the situation.
So yes, there are. But it’s not just that.
Failure is, above all, a sign that you have acted. And maybe even despite your fear or lack of confidence.
It is then experience and additional experience, as well as a lesson. And if you decide to bounce back big, it is above all the opportunity to progress, learn more and possibly succeed.
Yes, the little one may hurt. Because if you decide to put the cover back, you could fail again. I have to be honest. But this new failure will also be a new experience, experience and lesson. Above all, it will be a sign of your work on you and the improvement of your resilience and persistence.
Conversely, you decide to stall after the first failure, you indeed and ultimately fail.
If you still needed to know why you should work on your resilience and persistence, I’ll give you a few seconds with Michael Jordan :
I missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I lost nearly 300 games. 26 times, I was trusted to pull the winning basket, and I missed. I have failed over and over and over again in my life. And that’s why I succeed.
And yes, Michael Jordan did not become the one who is considered to be the greatest basketball player overnight. He became so through failure and perseverance.
You can be as successful as he is. Be convinced.