What is it that makes all of us seek emotional balance?
Each individual is in a constant search of balance, perhaps through a personal growth workshop, in a person or on a trip. Anything we think that can give us a feeling of balance.
The reality is that we are the ones who can give ourselves balance and we only find it within ourselves.
“Life is an invisible vessel, and you are what you throw into it. Throw envy, dissatisfaction, nastiness and anxiety will overflow. Throw kindness, empathy and love, and serenity will overflow”
It is surprising to see how easily we are led to forget the essential things in life. The succession of intense and hectic days leads us inexorably to lose perspective, to drown in routine, seems to live with the autopilot engaged.
However, there are truths that we should never stop repeating to ourselves as if they were a mantra. These are truths that will help us stay focused on our goals and allow us to achieve better emotional balance.
How to achieve better emotional balance, key points
Being busy doesn’t mean being productive.
Just look around. Most people around us seem very busy, moving quickly from place to place, attending meetings and responding to rivers of emails and messages. But are they producing something?
Indeed, productivity and success don’t always come from movement and activity, but rather from concentration and attention. Often our typical day is consumed through dozens of activities that are not important and do not meet our vital goals.
However, since we have the same number of hours available every day and there is absolutely nothing we can do to increase them, we’d better use them wisely. Therefore, make sure that your efforts are paying off and that you use your time not only to keep yourself busy, but to be productive and, above all, to get closer and closer to the goals that matter to you.
Fear is the leading cause of repentance.
Fear is often a silent enemy that creeps into the small crevices and gradually grows within us. It is fear that prevents us from taking the first steps towards realizing our dreams and keeps us tied to a reality that we do not like.
Throughout our lives, we experience three main fears:
- The fear of leaving our comfort zone where we feel safe (not happy or satisfied),
- The fear of losing the people we love and,
- The fear of failure.
These fears are not always clearly expressed; we are often not fully aware that we harbour these fears. However, they become our main obstacle to achieving our dreams, and by the time we reach the end of life, they will have been the leading cause of our regrets. Remember that there is nothing worse than asking, “What would have happened if only I had dared?”
You don’t need excuses to forgive
Life flows better when we let go of resentment and forgive. When we harbour a grudge for past wrongs, we are only ruining our present. Hate and anger are like emotional parasites that destroy our happiness and affect our psychological balance.
Negative emotions that arise fueled by resentment generate a great deal of stress, which also has devastating consequences on our health. Therefore, one of the most important lessons we can implement is to forgive.
Remember that you don’t need to get an apology from the person who offended you to forgive them and move on. Because when you feed the grudge, it is you who hurt yourself. Forgiveness does not mean condoning the person’s actions but merely shaking off the role of the victim.
Failures often precede great successes.
You will never experience success until you learn to embrace failure. Mistakes are like steps on the ladder to success. Every time you make a mistake, you are closer to success because at least you have learned which one of the strategies does not work for achieving your goals.
“Success is most often achieved by those who don’t know that failure is inevitable.” – Coco Chanel
Always think that the most significant discoveries have often occurred after numerous failures. In fact, after a failure, we feel frustrated, and frustration leads us to think differently, makes us think outside the box and glimpse solutions that we had neglected.
Success doesn’t happen overnight; it requires a lot of patience and the ability to stay motivated along the way.
You are living the life you created yourself.
We are not victims of circumstances. Nobody forced us to make choices that lead us in the opposite direction to our values and aspirations. According to the Butterfly Effect, we are the result of all the small decisions we have made over time.
“Be the owner of your words and responsible for your actions” – The Brilliance
Therefore, the circumstances we are experiencing today we have created in some way ourselves. This means that we need to get rid of the role of the victim and take responsibility for our life because the future depends only on us.
If you are tired and have missed an opportunity, it is likely due to the fear of taking on new risks. Therefore, whenever you decide, remember that no matter how small it is, it is still one step up the ladder of your life.
Self-esteem must be nurtured from within
When the satisfaction we feel for our results depends directly on the comparison with others, we stop being masters of our destiny. When we let others manipulate our self-esteem and emotions, we are handing them over the reins of our life.
“Remember, you have been criticizing yourself for years, and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.” — Louise L. Hay
While it is true that it is impossible to separate from the reactions and opinions of others, ultimately, it is equally valid that we do not need constant confrontation to confirm our worth. When you feel right about something you have done, don’t let the opinions of others take away this good feeling.
At some point in life, self-esteem is something we need to nurture from within. This means that we must learn to see the judgments of others as mere opinions, not as absolute truths that directly affect our self-esteem.
You are a reflection of the people you relate to
We can’t always choose the people around us, but we can decide who will be part of the closest circle, the people we share our time with. So, make sure you surround yourself with worthwhile people, who are positive and inspiring, who share your worldview, and who are supportive.
If you surround yourself with toxic people, at best, you will end up losing motivation. At worst, you will end up assuming their attitudes. You don’t need to have people around you who make you feel inferior, who convey anxiety, fear and despair. Life is too short for these people to steal your energy and joy of living.
Remember that, like it or not, the people around us end up influencing our worldview, our attitudes and the decisions we make, so it’s essential to surround yourself with people who are role models for us.
Change is inevitable; embrace it.
We love what we know because, in our mind, it is synonymous with stability and security. This is why we usually resist change. But if there is anything specific in life, changes are inevitable, so it is essential to learn to deal with them with as little stress as possible.
“Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future.” — John F. Kennedy
In fact, once our attitude changes, we begin to consider changes as opportunities to learn, we are no longer afraid to change, and a new world of possibilities opens up before us, a world we had never considered.
For this reason, continuing to do things the same way over and over and expecting change is crazy. Learn to take advantage of changes and make the most of them. Opening up to uncertainty offers us some of the most important lessons of our life.
Life is unfair; learn to deal with it.
Pretending that life is honest with us is like thinking that a hungry lion won’t eat us just because we are vegetarians. But we often forget this, and we complain that life is too unfair.
But crying over spilled milk is a colossal waste of time and energy. Continually thinking about how things should be is usually a way of hiding in an ideal world that exists only in our mind, while rejecting the real problems we face.
Life is unfair, and sadly, many bad things happen to good people. There is nothing we can do other than offer our help. But to help change something, we must learn to see them as they are, unveiled. Only when we focus on the problem are we able to solve it.
Live in the present, because that’s all you have
We are unable to develop our full potential until we have learned to live in the present. No matter how the guilt has arisen, the past cannot be changed. And no matter what we feel, anxiety won’t help us improve our future. But the point is, you can be happy and productive even with these emotions.
“If you live in fear of the future because of what happened in your past, you’ll end up losing what you have in the present.” – Anonymous
No one can guarantee you there will be a tomorrow, so make the most of the present, because that’s all you have. The past is past, and the future does not exist yet. Remember that worrying is like paying in advance and interested in a debt that we don’t yet know if we will ever incur.
Emotional balance is knowing how to connect with others and with ourselves. It is giving prominence to our emotions and being responsible for our feelings. Our emotional balance is a reflection of who we are and who we say we are. Our emotions belong to us, be they good or bad, they are our faithful lover from birth until we die.
Emotional balance is being in connection with ourselves and with others. Your emotions know how to move you and help you to be present in the present.
As irrational as we tend to be, don’t forget that you are the owner of your emotions and in this game, you are in control. REMEMBER …… life is too short, so live every moment of it and make it worthwhile.