Happiness is not an obligation, but being good with yourself, yes. Therefore, real success in life comes when we finally feel satisfied with what we are, with what we have and with what surrounds us. That must be our real goal.
The real triumph comes when you manage to be comfortable with your own life, whatever it may be. Beyond the charges, the labour conquests, the current accounts, the people found and left behind; there is the satisfaction of being well with oneself. You are satisfied with what has been achieved. Hopeful for the future and aware that everything around us is valuable and meaningful.
We are aware that from the most famous psychology always tips are extolled as ” the need to leave our comfort zone ” of “being proactive to conquer our dreams”. Winston
“Uniting courage to succeed in life.” – Churchill said,
Well, the truth is that in reality, happiness and well-being have many sizes, and not all of us have to wear the same shoes to be successful.
For some, true satisfaction is in the comfort zone itself. For others, their dreams are so humble and elemental that great ingenuity or systems of strategy are not required to satisfy desires. Sometimes a good company is enough; sometimes, the fulfillment is in having a sound library, something to eat, and people to love.
Success is a polysemic word, has multiple meanings, open to each of us giving him ours.
Be comfortable with your own life, a constant building exercise.
Being comfortable with your own life is something different from the concept of happiness. From the field of positive psychology, it has been a long time dealing with this topic. To begin with, life satisfaction has to do with the global evaluation we make of our entire existence, of everything that defines us, that we have experienced, that surrounds us in the present moment and, in turn, what we do.
Happiness, on the other hand, is related to a particular, momentary and limited state in time. Today, for example, I can feel happy because I have been reunited with my family that I have been away from in a long time also because something that worried me has been resolved favourably. Happiness comes and goes, but life satisfaction is permanent.
As Michel de Montaigne said, the value of a life does not lie in the number of days lived but in the use we make of them, in the satisfaction we find in all that time. However, there is something that we must understand and keep in mind. You cannot be comfortable with your own life if you are not well with yourself.
The PERMA Model theory to teach us how to reach a goal and helps to understand the elements of happiness was developed by Martin Seligman, one of the founding fathers in positive psychology. That is a dimension that, after all, constitutes real success. Let’s see what are these important building blocks of well-being and happiness and what it consists of.
P (Positive emotions)
To be comfortable with your own life, dimensions such as optimism, confidence, personal security or hope must be present in you. It is evident that in our future, there will be awkward moments in which we will not be immune to adversity.
The negative or more complex emotions such as sadness, anger or frustration will also be present; we have no choice but to accept them, walk with them, understand their meaning.
However, even in those awkward moments, we cannot let go of a constructive and hopeful vision of life to trust that we will regain control, that everything will turn out well. Positive emotions are vital to finding well-being and satisfaction.
E (commitment, engagement )
The real success in our existence happens when we commit ourselves to two things.
The first, our commitment to ourselves. Feeling the full conviction that we deserve to be successful, that we, like anyone else, earn what they dream or want.
“It was character that got us out of bed, commitment that moved us into action, and discipline that enabled us to follow through.” – Zig Ziglar
The second requires a commitment to work, to the daily actions and effort we must take to achieve what we long for.
You are comfortable with your own life when you surround yourself with the people you love, admire and appreciate. That and nothing else gives you real well-being, you feel fuller, more reliable, more satisfied. Something like this undoubtedly requires multiple daily efforts.
“Love and meaningful relationships are vital to physical and emotional well-being.” – Deepak Chopra
You have to take care of what you love and also, be assertive enough to set limits before those who only know how to subtract, before those who only bring storms on our sunny days.
M ( Meaning ) To be comfortable with your own life, you must clarify your purposes.
Nothing opens the way for us as much as being clear about our purposes. Knowing what we expect from life, what we consider a priority and having goals, values and desires in mind every day confers inner peace and motivation. In turn, these dimensions act as significant mitigating factors for anxiety.
When you know what you want and mobilize your thoughts, emotions, and actions in that direction, fears are lessened, and worries lose strength. Let’s keep this in mind.
A (Achievement, accomplishment )
Success does not come when we crown a mountain. Nor when we make our goal high. Success is training our minds not to give up, to achieve small constant achievements with which to move forward. Each meter gained brings us closer to that summit, towards that goal set on the horizon.
This means that, in order not to give up, we need those small daily triumphs, however insignificant. They will act as indicators that we are going in the right direction.
To conclude, each of these described dimensions makes up authentic well-being. It is that state of absolute fulfillment where we feel good about what we are, what we have and are achieving. Whether it is a lot or a little, for us, it will always be enough if we feel satisfied. Let’s work on it; let’s keep it in mind.